


The Worst Honeymoon Ever

by FairyNiamh



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Honeymoon, Humor, M/M, Mild Language, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-11-25
Updated: 2010-11-25
Packaged: 2017-11-05 01:11:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/400811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FairyNiamh/pseuds/FairyNiamh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kirk has the worst honeymoon ever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Worst Honeymoon Ever

"You know," Kirk said sourly as he entered the Bridge, "This is technically my honeymoon. The first day of my honeymoon, in fact. I am supposed to be naked and not necessarily in bed with my brand new husband. Someone explain to me why I am not naked with my husband right now."

Yes, he was a bit sharp with his crew at the moment. No, he didn't give a flying fuck about their feelings. No, he didn't care that his best friend was muttering; "Thanks for the visual jack-ass."

What he did care about was what he and Spock had been about to do back in their comfortable cabin. Damn it all to hell, he wanted to be naked and he wanted to be naked with Spock, like RIGHT NOW!

"Sir, we have a priority one transmission coming in from Starfleet as well as New Vulcan," Uhura calmly explained hoping that Jim would cool his heels before going further.

"Please, transfer the call from New Vulcan to ready room 1," he ordered semi-calmly while walking into the room. He punched the appropriate button and was somewhat taken back when his father-in-law's face appeared on screen.

"How may I help you today, Ambassador?" he asked as politely as he could.

"I hope I have not detained you from anything important Captain. However, an unusual event has taken place. One I thought to seek your assistance with," Sarek said almost serenely. Kirk didn't know what was fixing to happen, but whatever it was sent cold chills up his spine.

"It's quite all right sir. Our standing orders are to put you and your people at the top of our priority list. Tell me about this event and why you should need my assistance," Kirk asked while doing his best not to wince.

"It has been brought to my attention that you and my son have wed without the proper formalities being met."

"Yes sir, Spock and I have indeed gotten married, but everything is proper I assure you. We went through the pre-marital counseling, obtained a proper marriage license, and stood in front of a judge to swear oaths of fealty and faithfulness." 

"Yes, I have heard of the Terran bonding ceremony. However, that is not recognized by the people of Vulcan," Sarek informed him empirically.

"What do you require of me?" Kirk said with a sigh. If it wasn't one thing it was another.

"I require that you and my son come straight here; so that a proper bonding ceremony may take place. It is a very important ceremony, especially to my family," the older man said with an arched eyebrow.

"Yes sir. I will get clearance to divert to New Vulcan as soon as possible," Kirk said in a somewhat defeated tone. He wasn't sure why, but he felt a headache coming on.

"You will arrive here in one week. That is when the bonding is scheduled to occur. Sarek out," the man ordered and yup, headache getting worse.

"I wonder how Spock will take this newest turn of events," Kirk muttered to himself as he headed back to the bridge.

"Captain, should I put Starfleet through to the ready room as well?" Nyota asked quietly.

"No patch them through here," Kirk said with a sigh as he sat heavily in his chair.

"Congratulations Son," a happy faced Pike said. He had never wanted to punch the man more than he did right now.

"Permission to divert the Enterprise to New Vulcan sir," he said without acknowledging the chipper congratulations he had just received.

"Why do you need to go to new Vulcan?" the admiral asked with a look of confusion.

"It seems that Vulcan's do not recognize my marriage to Spock. Since that means my husband is still up for grabs there; I would like to fully seal the deal."

"Ah, so that's why the Ambassador asked about your current location. So when is the wedding?"

"We have a week to get there," Jim replied glumly.

"Then you better make haste. I'll see you on New Vulcan since at least the Ambassador was kind enough to invite me to the wedding. You should be ashamed of yourself trying to keep an important event like that secret. Pike out."

"Unless there is anything else, I think I should go tell my husband of the latest events," Kirk ground out through gritted teeth as he stood and made his way to the turbo lift. Really, could this day get any worse?

He should have known better than to even think that question. Everything _always_ turned into a new cluster-fuck for him when that phrase was uttered... thought... mentioned within a one hundred kilometers of him. 

When he arrived at his quarters and explained the situation, between kisses, he was shocked out of his skull when Spock suddenly stood stiffly and got dressed.

"Just where do you think you're going mister?" Kirk asked his husband with wide eyes.

"You informed me that we are to arrive at our nuptial ceremony in a weeks time. Therefore, I must retire to my room and begin meditation."

"But this _is_ your room! Remember you moved in not even an hour after we said 'I do'?" he asked in pure panic.

"I do indeed T'hy'la. However, the likely hood of me remaining chaste before our bonding, reduces to a seven point two five percent should I remain within our room."

"Wait... did you just say? _CHASTE_?" the blond man asked with an audible squeak and wide eyes.

"Indeed Captain. We must remain chaste until after the time of our bonding."

"But we just got MARRIED!"

"I am sorry, but it is our way. I look forward to continuing our previous actions after our bonding. Farewell," Spock said before exiting the room.

Kirk didn't know whether to laugh, cry, scream, or just beat the hell out of something. The one thing he did know was that this could be labeled as the worst honeymoon ever!

~Fin


End file.
